So. Two Years.
We are saying it out loud. And it gets more real each time. And starting this blog. What if we don’t actually do it?! And all this lead up?? I’d probably go just to avoid embarrassment.
In two years we are packing up our conventional life and we will start our new life or our next life. This is not intended to be a long vacation. We are not saving up enough money to support ourselves for two years. We are going on an adventure. Yes money will be saved and we will use this two years to plan. I was taught in graduate school that any number bigger than ten can be written as 10. And anything lower has to be written out. But I like the look of 2 years much better. So, we want to live off the land but in a slightly different take. I want to rely on the Divine and live from that. That’s a hard sentence to write because of the voices I just heard: ‘oh god, she’s found Jesus’, ‘that’s totally irresponsible and flakey’, and my own voice ‘don’t write god, people will think you’re weird’.
I’ve longed to experience the magic in the world since I was a little girl. And for every year of my life on earth, it got farther away. I believe that I started off knowing who I was and what I was capable of. Snugged right up close to the Divine. Like a little fairy with wings and everything. I had to loose it all so that I could remember, apparently. Which is just stupid. Why would we choose that? Can’t I just remember?? And it wasn’t until age 27 that I actively started to restore/retrieve these parts of myself. It was at this age that I started to remember. There is more to this life than the mud I’d been mucking around in. Thank gawd. It was then and since then that I’d glimpse these magical parts of people and life and think, ‘I could do this. This life, I could do’. And like life does, I think its all been leading to this point.
This year has been about making our life easier. Where we live and where we work, and how we work. Jeff and I have been making these changes. And the heart and body don’t settle for good enough, it says, ‘More! More!’ Cue meltdown.